White Snowflakes
by Onisius
Summary: White snowflaks falling, phones ringing, sadness is heard... A little story during christmas...This story now had a warning to it. Read at your own risk LOL, Its not a violence or sex warning
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Don't own them...

Authors note: Thanks to Jaccione, KatieQ, Sarah, Tina and Terra for all their help in this. Thanks girls!!!

Chapter one...

_White snowflakes falling,_

_No sound to be heard._

_Floating down slowly,_

_Like feathers of a bird._

Christmas, a season for joy, gifts and laughter, for rejoicing and life, a time for family.

That was a something Parker never really got to experience once her mother died. Family is a concept she was no longer familiar with. Family were people who show unconditional love toward one another; family is something you can turn to in your greatest hour of need; family's who you can go cry your heart out to and laugh with as well. Family is something that can give you strength and courage, that always supports you when you need them the most. Everything that family stood for, Parker lacked.

'Family' for Parker meant death and destruction, pain and sadness, double-crossing and back stabbing, loneliness, control and tears. She had lost the only positive element of her demented family a long time ago, that one beacon of hope, from a time when she was still innocent and believed in the future, a time when ignorance had truly been bliss and trust had meaning. It had been lost to the things her family now represented; Hurt, pain, destruction, lies, broken promises and betrayal.

As the candles were lit and the wine poured, Parker stared at the photo in the antique silver frame of her mother and herself as a child, smiling, carefree… happy. A time now lost, a time when she used to love Christmas gone, a time when she used to believe in the gift of family long ago, replaced now by emptiness and isolation.

The lights were strung on the tree; the decorations hung with gentleness and care. The very few presents were delicately wrapped and lovingly placed under the tree. The scent of pine permeated the room as only this time of year could entice the senses. The entire room glowed magically from the tiny coloured lights and candles. It looked as if dreams could really come true in this room, as if the angel on the tree was glowing white, like she had seen in her dreams so many times as a child.

It was the only time of the year the summer house felt warm and inviting with the soft glowing lights, the only time Parker felt like the house was cosy and not the usual cold, dark, empty manor it normally was. It was all an illusion though, and she was still just as lonely as she always was, if not more so.

She still had the rabbit Jarod had sent to her, Parker never having been able to rid herself of the soft white creature that provided warmth and comfort in her solitude. It reminded her always, of a time less painful than now, of a time when she used to be happy and felt loved and didn't feel like she needed to prove herself just to be accepted by her father, by her so-called 'family'. It reminded her that someone still cared. Parker ever so carefully placed the photo frame back onto the mantle over the open fire that was filling the room with a soft warmth, taking the chill out of the winter air. Pulling the blanket tighter around her thin frame, wine in hand, Parker stood at the window and looked out.

It was snowing softly outside in the darkness, the starry sky hidden behind the soft clouds high above. Snowflakes were such marvellous things, each one uniquely individual, each one different from all the rest, just like she was. Parker was as different as anyone ever could be.

She used to love the beauty of the snow, used to love playing in it with her mother. Snow angels and snow men, sledding, skiing, dancing in circles as the snowflakes fell like feathers onto her face as she and her mother twirled beneath the sky. It was a time of laughter, love and safety.

It was a time that had long passed however, one that was now only etched into her memory. A period of her life that could be so easily erased, forgotten, lost as if it had never happened at all; as if her mother had never existed. Sometimes she wondered if it had ever been real, or just a figment of her imagination, cruelly brought to life for such a short time only in photos and DSA's.

The loud ringing of the phone pulled Parker out of her thoughts, out of those memories so precious only to her.

Picking it up, Parker did not need three guesses to know who would be calling, disturbing her solitary night in her house. Her empty home no longer held joy, the house that she and her mother would spend the summer in, the home that used to hold such happy memories.

"What?" The word wasn't barked in anger or hate like it usually was, it wasn't bored or impatient like it so often could be. It was soft and sad, lonely and empty, defeated and quietly uttered.

The voice on the end didn't sound much better than hers, though Parker did not know why she expected it to. It was the Christmas holidays, and just like her, Jarod had no family, no one to celebrate with, no reason to rejoice. They were more alike than she wanted to admit, at times like this it was hard to deny.

"I wonder Miss Parker, what it would be like to play in the snow with your children, with your parents, with family." Jarod thought out loud as he sat outside on a rocking chair watching the glistening, unique snowflakes floating softly, silently, to the white covered ground.

Yet again he was alone for Christmas, for a holiday, with no one he loved, no one who loved him, to spend it with. Everywhere he turned there were children and their parents, friends and lovers who were singing and dancing, laughing merrily. They were purchasing gifts for each other and he could easily imagine the joy of gift giving when it was done in the spirit of Christmas. He thought of the few gifts he had given Parker and wondered what she had done with them, wondered what it would be like to receive a gift, given with love. What Jarod wouldn't give to be one of those people just once in his life, to feel that kind of joy and warmth fill his whole being, to just be with someone he loved and have them love him back.

Always alone, always an outcast, always watching from the sidelines. To get even close to what everyone else had, what everyone else felt, Jarod had to pretend it, imagine it. He was so very tired of pretending to be like them, pretending to be someone whose life was everything Jarod had ever dreamt of, of pretending to be someone he could never be. He wondered if he would even know who he was if the pretending ever stopped, if he ever just gave up.

"Jarod," Parker let out a heavy sigh, taking a sip of her cold wine. "Why don't you become fast friends with some pathetic family and experience it with them?" Parker suggested in a tone much harsher than she intended.

The nerve of the man to call her this time of the year asking about family when he damn well knew what her family was like, knew what she had lost so long ago. He knew it simply because he was the one that couldn't leave it well enough alone and had to go digging up the painful secrets and sending her on little treasure hunts to find them out.

Jarod's face crumpled in pain at her remark, the pain and emptiness of not having his family always a very fresh and open wound. "Will this ever end Miss Parker?" Jarod whispered, his dark eyes as dark as the night was, looking out aimlessly at the falling snowflakes. He didn't know what he expected from her, but he knew it was foolish to expect anything really. It was Christmas though, and he had been hoping. No matter what happened between them, what happened in his life, he could never stop hoping for more.

"The minute you haul your pathetic self back home genius." Parker knew though that would never happen. The pretender would sooner die than let himself be taken back into the Centre, "I am sure it would be the perfect gift for your 'Mummy' to find when he returns in the New Year." Parker had accused Sydney on more than one occasion of being Jarod's 'Mummy', and she remembered a day not long after Jarod's escape, that Sydney was either his 'Mummy or scientist,' but he couldn't be both.

Glancing at the tree, Parker fought the little smile that threatened to show at the sight of the gift she had bought for Sydney. Even if she would never admit it out loud to herself nor to anyone else, Sydney had been more of a father to her than her own.

He had offered her comfort through the most devastating times of her life, support in all choices she made, guidance when Parker had needed it but could never admit to it. For all of those that had the older man in their life, Sydney had always been a rock to hold them down, a shoulder to cry on and a support beam in their most dire of times.

"That is not my home Miss Parker, no more than it is yours or Sydney's. It will never be my home, I will never go back there." Jarod said tiredly, exhausted from this game they always played. It scared Jarod more than he could ever think about at times, scared him to think for a moment that could have been his home, that it was the closest he'd come to having one. The Centre for all of his life had been the only place he knew, the only place he felt safe in, the only place that had wanted him. Early on in his life, the Centre had been his refuge, his world, his family. He knew they wanted him for all the wrong reasons, had wanted him only for the amount of money he could earn them. They had never wanted Jarod, never did they want just Jarod, only the pretender, their money maker, their problem solver. And yet, they still wanted him. It was more than Jarod had ever experienced before, it was the only thing he knew.

"Don't you ever get tired of this? Don't you ever just wish you could be like anyone else? A normal person, a person with a real family that loves you unconditionally for who you are, not who they want you to be or what you could do for them?" Jarod knew if he had only one wish he could make, it would be just that. To be a normal person, to be a faceless nobody that was out there in the world. To have his family, to have a warm home where they made him feel safe and wanted, loved for being just Jarod, not a pretender. As well as having people to love more than life itself.

"What I tire of genius, is you calling me at all insane hours of the night, of your pathetic little breadcrumbs, the wild goose chases you send me on across the whole damn country. Why don't you tell me where you are? I'll come get you, and you can finally spend a holiday with your real 'family', in the Centre, in your space."

It was a nice euphemism; Jarod's 'space' was and would always be a barren cell, no matter how much they prettied it up for him. It could have a pool, a vending machine filled with Twinkies and PEZ, a plasma screen TV the size of one entire wall. In the end though, no matter what they did to it, it was just simply a room with a locked door holding him in somewhere he did not want to be, caging him from the world. It was a prison.

The Centre didn't seem to understand that. It didn't matter to him when they took him from the small cell they had housed Jarod in as a child and put him in his apartment claming it was because of his good work. It didn't matter the bed was bigger and softer, that the walls had colour, that the floor was carpeted, that he had a bathroom. It was all the same thing to Jarod. It was a cell.

"I'm tired of the game Miss Parker, I'm tired of being hunted like an animal. I'm tired of how you treat me, think of me, talk to me. I am tired of it all Miss Parker, so very tired." Sometimes it was so bad all Jarod wanted to do was go to sleep and just not wake up anymore, to stop it all from hurting him, stop the aching in his soul. "You have a Merry Christmas Miss Parker and I hope this year, your father will spend it with you." Despite everything, he understood why she yearned for a real relationship with the man that had ruined his life, and he couldn't blame her, not really. He was her father after all and Jarod knew how important it was to know that you meant something to your father, knew why she strived for his approval.

Parker heard the exhaustion in Jarod's voice, the misery, the defeat, something she had never heard from him before. It sounded very much like a final goodbye, like the last phone call she would ever receive from Jarod, day or night. And that worried Parker, on more than one level.

"Jarod, wait!" Parker called into the phone, there was more than a hint of desperation in her voice. She normally hid weakness very well from everyone, hid when she was hurting or upset. Parker thought she was good at it, which only served to annoy her more when Sydney or Jarod, even Broots picked her up on it.

This time though, Parker didn't even bother to hide the desperation or mask it with hate or rage. It scared her to hear Jarod's normally strong voice so defeated, sounding as if he had finally just given up. Jarod was not a quitter, not someone who just gave in after so long of struggling against the ties holding him back. However, she knew that even the almighty pretender must have a breaking point.

It was too late however, the line was dead, the silence was echoing in her ears. Jarod had not heard her call out to him, had not heard her plea, for once wanting him to stay on the phone to talk to her.

He was gone; Jarod was gone.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Dont own them.

Authors note: Thank you very much to my wonderful bunch of betas, terra, katie, jacci, sarah and tina. (yes i know there is a lot of them lol) huge hugs to all of you girls. And a very big thank you to those who R&R'ed the first chapter, i do hope you enjoy this one as well...

**White snowflakes**

_White snowflakes landing,_

_Hiding everything from sight._

_Disguising the evils,_

_That lurk in the night._

Parker had not been able to sleep that night, pacing up and down restlessly, playing over the short conversation she had had with Jarod. Why for once, could she not be civil to him, hear him out, talk to him and offer some form of comfort?

Parker had never once denied that the two of them had been friends, that she had enjoyed seeing him and playing with him. Even now when Jarod called, Parker was always secretly relieved to hear he was safe and doing okay. She would never in her life admit it though, not to Sydney, not to Jarod, not even to herself. It was a door she didn't want to open, a path she was afraid to explore.

It played out the same way every time however, she was hostile and angry as Jarod tried to help her, he would be nice and friendly only to end up hurt most times. This time it was Parker who had been hurt, she was afraid she had just had the last phone call with Jarod that she ever would have. It was her fault as well, she could hear the desperation and depression in his voice and had just pushed him away as always. That was the rules of their stupid little game, and just for once why couldn't she let it go? It was their rules after all, why did she have to accept them as her own? Jarod never did.

Glancing at the clock, Parker groaned softly to see it was nearly 4 am, it was officially Christmas Eve. Tonight she would have to attend the annual Centre Christmas Eve ball, get dressed up and look stunning, suffer the boring conversations with the old men, her father ignoring her, her brother taunting her. It was not something she wanted to do any year, but this year she was even more reluctant to go. Not after the phone call she had received.

Running her hand through her thick, brown hair, Parker moved upstairs and got changed into jeans and a jumper, not bothering with putting on her ice queen façade for this trip. She needed to get to Broots, needed him to try and trace that call she had, find out something to take her to Jarod.

Heading back downstairs and towards the door, Parker paused and went back to the Christmas tree she had lovingly decorated. It was the only thing she enjoyed about the Christmas tradition, the tree reminding her of happier times. Parker knew that was the only reason she still decorated it, something she could look at and remember the past, remember her mother. Grabbing two gifts, she blew the candles out that had almost melted all the way down and left her house and headed into the cold, white night of winter.

Jarod sat in the chair, his little tree on the coffee table with the few decorations that would fit on it. It looked pathetic and sad, like its life had been cut short for the pleasure of a human wanting to cheer their own life up.

As the years had dragged on, as his life had become shorter and shorter, Jarod had started to lose the bright hope that had once sustained him through the darkest of times. The hope that he would find his family, be with them, have a family of his own and be safe from the evils of the corporation that had imprisoned him for almost all of his life.

Every day that ticked by, every month and every year, that hope had slowly vanished to the point where it had disappeared entirely. What had been left now after the hope had gone and had turned into bitterness, was a depressed and jealous man, watching the lives and joys of others around him. The tired and lonely man stared out of the window, unable to sleep as his life played out in front of him.

The few memories he had of his life before the Centre were that of terror and panic, being stolen from his happy world. He saw his life in the Centre, the death and destruction, fear and pain forced upon him. Jarod only had a few happy memories from that part of his life and they had involved Miss Parker, someone who now hated and despised him. His only true friend had been lost to him because of the evil place that raised him.

When the pretender had escaped, his whole world turned upside down and inside out. Jarod could never have imagined such beauty and joy that he had seen around him, the discoveries he had made, the people he had met. And all it took to destroy that wondrous world around him was the evil men, the greedy men that had shown Jarod that not all things in this world were pure and loving. Those men who had tainted then ripped away his naive allusions to shreds had changed his entire life and view of his once perfect and peacefully world he had imagined.

As the years had passed him, those one or two despicable people had turned in to ten or twenty, then one or two hundred. Jarod's eyes had opened to see what an evil, sad and lonely world it really was and much of it had been his own fault because of those simulations he had performed.

He focused on helping people, righting wrongs and finding his family. Every time he had helped someone he had gotten a buzz, a warm feeling in his body which only lasted a short time and still was getting shorter. Jarod knew he needed his family, needed love in his life and had been determined to find them.

There was no better time in his life that Jarod could remember than that first hug from his father, holding his sister's hand and seeing his mother, although they had never been able to hug each other and talk. Now, even those memories weren't enough to sustain Jarod through the hard times and he had just given up. It was just too little, not enough to combat the darkness and despair he felt sometimes.

Jarod knew he needed to talk to Sydney, Sydney would make it better for him, but instead he had foolishly called Parker. What a mistake that had been, the hope of her helping him to feel better had been crushed as always and he had hung up feeling worse than before.

Tearing his eyes away from the beautiful white covered earth outside his window, Jarod moved to grab his jacket. He needed to go for a walk, he needed to clear his mind and think of all the good in the world, in his world. Not just the bad. If he did, Jarod was sure he would go insane thinking of all the murders and terrorist attacks, the kidnappings and rapes, the evil men and women ruining the lives of the innocent.

Parker had stared out the window the entire time Broots had worked, watching as the snow fell so softly and slowly. The snow seemed to change everything, the way people viewed the world, the way they acted, how things looked and felt.

The snow sometimes made things seem simpler, safer, happier, but most times to Parker, she believed it made things worse. It disguised the evils lurking out there, it covered offender's tracks, it hid the blood spilt in anger and hid those in the search of more power and control.

As a child, she had loved the snow, playing in it with her mother, how carefree it made her feel, how alive. Now however, no matter how beautiful a picture it painted, Parker found the snow to be sinister almost, a cloak for those things darker.

Swallowing the brandy, savouring the warmth it brought as it burnt down her throat, Parker's thoughts once again travelled back to Jarod. What could have happened to break his spirit so? What had happened to Jarod to change him from the man she remembered to the one she had heard on the phone earlier? Where did the old, cocky, annoying Jarod go?

Parker was brought back to reality as Broots cleared his throat, shuffling nervously on the spot. Parker had to hide a smile at that, even in his own house, she managed to intimidate the poor tech.

"I have a location." There was something different about Miss Parker this morning and it made Broots even more jittery than normal. "I managed to trace the call back through a system I created, it's very similar to the Hound. I put in the number of the line the call was made to…"

Parker growled at him, not in the mood to listen to his rambling. If he had a location, Parker wanted to know, no, she NEEDED to know this instant. Parker just had a very, very bad feeling about this and she wanted desperately to get to Jarod before he did something they all might regret.

"Jarod is in Dover," Broots informed her, telling his boss where exactly he was. The way she was looking out that window, as if she were reliving her entire life frightened the tech slightly. Miss Parker had always been strong, determined, formidable. As he had watched her looking out that window though, she had looked so soft and vulnerable, scared.

"Should I call in a sweeper team?"

Shaking her head, the glass of brandy on the coffee table already as Parker headed for the door. "I don't want anyone to know. This is between you and me. Got it?" Seeing Broots nod, Parker left his house almost running. If anything had happened to Jarod, if he was dead or dying, Parker would bring that bastard back to life so she could kill him once more.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer; Don't own them at all... 

Authors note: Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed this story, I appreciate it very much. This is the third and final chapter and it has a WARNING on it for death. Please be aware of this. Also thanks a lot to all my betas, who I mentioned in the other chapters.

Chapter three...

_White snowflakes shattering,_

_Broken glass on the floor._

_Something unique,_

_Has become no more._

Jarod walked the cold and dark streets aimlessly with no destination in mind, his eyes taking in every tiny detail almost unconsciously as he was trained to do. All the happy families and couples that he had watched out his window earlier were gone now, tucked away in their soft beds, sleeping soundly and peacefully, never to experience the nightmares that he did.

The snow was shovelled off the street and pathways into piles along the gutters, rubbish scattered around him from the lazy people who didn't see a need to keep the world as beautiful as they had found it. The streetlights putting an ominous orange glow over those who walked under them rugged up tightly in dark overcoats and scarves. The orange glow cast an almost sinister look to those on the street, making them seem like dark and dangerous strangers out to torment and maim the innocents out and about.

Jarod wondered how much longer he could go on pretending, putting on a façade that he was happy and joyful to be out in this dark world, doing the pretends to help the people who had been done hard by. Jarod was tired of pretending to the world that he didn't suffer the pain and humiliation of being hunted like an animal, the fear and anger that he battled continually in life. He wondered how much longer he could hang on, trying to find his family; if he could find his family. Jarod asked himself how much longer could he hold on to being alone and isolated in this world, sleeping in a bed by himself, eating by himself, living by himself. Waking up in town after town, looking out the window and seeing the same things again and again: Starbucks, Radioshack, McDonalds, Bank of America, momentarily not even remembering where he was on occasion. It didn't matter. It was all the same, with or without him.

Every day of his life outside in the big wide world now just served to remind Jarod of how lonely he truly was. At the start of his life outside and away from the hells of The Centre, Jarod had been too busy learning the ways of the American culture; too busy fighting for the little guys; too busy running for his life as he learnt how to balance clues and freedom, to have been so lonely. Now though, he had slowed down, left a few less clues as he helped the people, he realised how lonely and empty his life was.

Every holiday he was alone for just made the realisation clearer in his mind. If he didn't do something and do it fast, he would die alone either in a cell at The Centre, or in some run down lair of his. But what was there to do? He couldn't find his family, after so long of searching he was still no closer really than at the start. He couldn't start his own family and put them at risk of The Centre or Africa. He couldn't go on just fighting for those he felt were done wrong by and hope it would be enough to fill the void in his soul. He couldn't even bridge the gap between himself and his childhood friend, she just refused to let him in.

Inevitably his thoughts turned to Parker; deep down, he just couldn't deny to himself that she alone was the "happily ever after," that he sought, the one thing that could brighten his life and heal his broken heart. No matter how often he tried to reach out to Parker, how hard he tried, he was always shot down, insulted. Parker always made him feel inferior for trying to help and reach out, made him feel weak for his efforts. He ended up feeling threatened, hunted and emotionally hurt by her reactions. What he wouldn't give for Parker to be nice to him just once, to smile and say that she was still his friend, that she wanted him to be free and happy, that she wanted to share in the joy of his discoveries and triumphs. Jarod knew he was kidding himself, though; it was never going to happen. It just wasn't in Parker to be nice and friendly anymore, he knew that now, he had admitted to himself slowly over his years that he had failed in trying to save her. If Jarod was truly honest with himself though, he would have admitted as well that it was his shortcomings, rather than her inability to open up that had failed to bring out the 'nice' side of Parker. Either way he looked at it though, it was all his fault.

Jarod looked up as he heard a scuffle in front of him, preparing to interfere if need be. He stopped moving in their direction when he realised it was just two drunken friends rough-housing as the sound of laughter and playful insults fell upon his ears. It was just another way for the world to remind him of how empty his life was, even at 5 am on Christmas Eve. In the dark of the early morning, after what Jarod assumed would have been a big night out, these two friends were still together, enjoying life, having fun and no doubt protecting one another from harm. Jarod knew that the saying was true, that it was better to have one good friend for life than a thousand acquaintances for a few moments. That was his problem, all the people he helped, some he still kept in contact with, were not really his friends, they were just people he had helped for a short time in their lives.

With a heavy, sad sigh, Jarod looked around the buildings; the windows with the Christmas scenes in them, the tinsel and baubles, the trees and sparkling lights glittering against the bright colours of the decorations. It was so cheerful and bright and it reminded Jarod of how the homes of families would look with the decorations up. There were a few people on the street and the snow that still was falling softly. Maybe it was time to just disappear, give up on his family and Miss Parker and give up on helping those in need. Maybe it was time to vanish and settle down somewhere secluded, some small town in the middle of nowhere, try to meet a woman and have a family of his own. Jarod had to wonder though, was it even in him to do something just for himself? What would he have to offer? He had never had a healthy relationship in his whole life. He didn't know how to just be himself after all.

Parker was deathly afraid, so much so she was willing to admit to it. She had made a mad dash for Dover, driving at dangerously fast speed on the slippery, wet road. She had to get to Jarod, had to keep him from doing something stupid. The sound of his voice, the degree of despair and loneliness was something she had never heard from him before.

There had been a few times where he had sounded very depressed when he had called her and they had spoken like two normal people who needed the comfort and soft words of another human being, but this was not the same. Parker couldn't place why it was so different, she just sensed something very distressing, heard the alarm bells. Parker didn't really know what it was that had made those alarm bells go off, but it was something, she could feel it in her gut. It was urgent that she reached him, and soon.

Thoughts of her mother and Christmas, her own lonely and pathetic life had been efficiently pushed from her mind. The world she now looked out on was so vastly different from the one she saw when looking out of the window in the summer house. The snow no longer concealed dangerous activity, it no longer hid evils from sight, it did not cover the tracks of offenders who might have committed some terrible crime. The snow that had fallen from the dark sky no longer seemed how it did before she left her home, now all the snow did was slow her down, stop her from helping her childhood friend in his hour of need, it covered him from view, it stopped her from spotting him.

The panic rose when she finally got to his lair only to find it empty. She had slammed her fist on the door and waited a moment, hoping for it to open or to see Jarod running. Parker kicked the door in with a vicious kick and ran in, called his name in desperation and searched the small apartment only to see the DSA case, a small tree and some old blankets on the couch.

The glitter of light caught Parker's eye and reminded her of her mother's tear shaped ring she had found. Moving towards the light, she saw a present perfectly wrapped in red, shimmering paper and carefully picked it up.

'Parker,

Love J'

Letting out a heavy sigh, she held the present for a moment as she looked around a little more. It was no different from any of his other lairs, it was no different from anything else in his life: Empty, barren, cold, lonely and anonymous. Jarod's life wasn't all that dissimilar to hers. He put on a façade just like her, they both pretended to be happy in their life, he pretended full stop just like her. It wasn't until the phone call tonight, that she had realised just how much the same they really were, how much she needed him to be all right and safe, how much he had really needed her.

Looking around one last time, Parker left his apartment untouched and walked through the falling snow. Her black Porsche looked so completely out of place in the run down, miserable neighbourhood. As she slid into her car, the present carefully placed next to her on the seat, Parker had to wonder how different Jarod's life would be and how he'd feel if he just stopped staying in the dumps of the world. A person was bound to be depressed and miserable if they always lived in dumps like he chose instead of a nice house or hotel room. Though Parker had to admit to herself, ones place of living wasn't the only reason to be depressed. She knew that, her manor was beautiful and yet, she was still depressed as well.

Parker decided that instead of waiting for him to show up, that she would go out and search for him. The light was shining through slowly and weakly now, the world changing before her very eyes as the dawn of a new day showed. The darkness no longer held such a frightening appeal, the shadows no longer seemed as dangerous as before as the miserably weak sunlight started to show.

Jarod could feel the cold air slowly warming by the struggling, weak sun that was being filtered by the snow clouds up high above him. The change in light, the different atmosphere, the few people slowly filling the streets made no difference to him. Jarod didn't look up from the ground as he walked, didn't speak to the passer-by's, didn't look at the glittering tinsel strung from the street lamps by the council. Even when passer-by's said a cheerful "Good Morning" Jarod just ignored them. He didn't feel like himself, he didn't feel like he should be here anymore.

Jarod stayed in his own little world, his loneliness, emptiness, nothingness hidden from the outside. The screeching tyres of an out of control car barely penetrated his closed off mind, it was just another sound in a world that was dark and barren, a world which didn't need him anymore.

Parker finally found him walking after an hour of searching, dressed in his jeans and an overcoat, walking hunched over down the cold streets. Just seeing him from the back, Parker knew how bad his mood was, the way his shoulders were slumped, his back hunched forwards as if the weight of the world was on his shoulders. Immediately pulling over, her tyres screaming in protest, Parker jumped out and called his name out as loudly as she could to stop him.

The relief she felt that he was alive and safe was more overwhelming than anything she had felt before. Never in her life though would she tell anyone of the emotional rollercoaster she had been on tonight. It wasn't even something Parker wanted to look at too closely.

When the man turned around and she saw the panicked stricken face, Parker knew instantly what his thoughts were, but before she had a chance to tell him no, that he wasn't being taken back tonight, he had taken off. Parker called to him to wait, to stop, but he had kept running, dashing madly for his life. Parker just needed to talk to him, to offer him the comfort and kind words he had been pleading for on the phone earlier, to tell him for once that he wasn't alone. The irony didn't escape Parker. Normally he was running for his freedom, running for his life and the one time she was here to help him, she still had to chase him.

"Jarod, Jarod wait!" Parker screamed at the man, chasing him in her runners, but he wasn't slowing down, he wasn't obeying her. That was no shock though, when did the man ever do anything she told him to do?

Then suddenly, everything happened in slow motion, as if God had taken out a remote control and pressed slow-play to painstakingly watch the scene that was folding out in front of him.

Jarod threw a panicked look over his shoulder as he ran for his life and freedom, though right at this moment there wasn't much in his life to run for. Jarod knew he had to get away, there was no way he could let her catch him. If she took him back to his hell on earth now, Jarod knew he wouldn't survive there. There would be no hope for him. Running across the road, looking half behind him, Jarod never even saw the car coming.

The sounds of tyres screaming on the icy road, the car horn and the heavy sounds of his footsteps running all collided in one massive crash. He felt his body being slammed into what he imagined was a brick wall but his mind told him was actually a car, then flying through the cold air and landing with a heavy thud on the dark, icy tar of the road.

In the distant, he could faintly hear her voice screaming, calling his name in a panic. The world around him just changed dramatically. Laying on the road, he could feel the blood seeping out of his body, he could feel the warmth combined with the wetness of the ice, the bitting cold of the winter air. The snow was falling around him, mixing with the deep red blood from his wounds, the screams and cries of the people around him, dwindling into back ground noise as she came to kneel before him.

"Jarod? Oh God Jarod, why the hell did you have to do that?" Parker demanded angrily, knowing that anger was irrational, dropping down beside him on the road, fighting the tears in her eyes at seeing him so badly injured.

Parker screamed out for someone to call an ambulance now before she killed them herself. Jarod was going to die, she knew it and so did he. The look on his face was all she needed to let those tears she hid so well for so many years fall.

"God Jarod, I came to help you, to talk to you," Parker whispered desperately trying to stop the bleeding from his head, knowing the visible wounds were the least of her worries. The snow that scattered around them was disguising the horror people could see, the evidence of the car crash, the broken glass on the ground.

Without the snow falling, the scene of the accident would have been horrific and terrifying. The soft white cover on the ground though softened everything, made it seem much more innocent than it really was. Parker could hear the soft crunching of the snow beneath people's feet, feel the feather light touches on her skin from each snow flake. The pure whiteness of the snow though was tainted by the red of the blood which brought her back to the reality of the situation.

Jarod frowned a little, wincing as it pulled on his wound. She came to talk to him, help him? He didn't believe it, but he desperately wanted to, he wanted to believe his friend had finally returned to him.

"I'm sorry," Jarod croaked out, coughing loudly, blood spilling from his mouth as he did so. He had needed her comfort, her strength, her help on the phone and she hadn't offered it to him; but here she was now, beside his body, holding his hand and wiping away his blood.

Jarod could see the tears falling from her eyes, down her rosy red cheeks and he felt terrible for making her cry. Jarod could feel how tightly she was clutching his hand, he could see how horrified she was that this had happened to him. That was the way the world worked, you never got what you wanted and if you did, it was simply too late to take it and enjoy it, to cherish it.

"Don't talk Jarod; the paramedics are coming, just hold on. We'll get you to the doctor, he'll help you," Parker rambled a little, struggling hard not to let the big sobs escape out of her mouth at seeing Jarod laying there so defenceless on the ground, so utterly powerless and vulnerable. Jarod had no pretend to help him this time, no escape route to save his life, no refuge.

Wouldn't her mother be oh so proud of her? Chasing the boy she had tried to save, provoking him, hunting him until he had no choice but to cross a street and get hit by a car that would surely kill him. It couldn't end like this; life couldn't be so cruel to either of them. As Jarod always told her, they both deserved some happiness, some joy in their lives. Looking up to the heavens, she growled softly to any god that might be watching, that this wasn't the happy ending Jarod dreamt of.

"I bought you a present, Parker," Jarod whispered softly, his eyelids getting heavier, his breathing becoming more laboured as the blood filled his lungs. Jarod knew now he would never see his family again, he would never get to tell Sydney he loved him, he would never get to give Parker one more of his trademark grins that irritated her so much. His life was being stolen from him once again and this time, it was for good.

What did Jarod ever do to deserve anything he had been given?

"I know Jarod, it's in my car, thank you." Parker whispered, knowing how lame the response was for this situation, but unable to say anything else as the cries became uncontrollable, as the paramedics pulled up to the scene. Parker wanted to grab her gun and threaten the bastards to hurry up, to get over to Jarod and help him NOW! She was furious that they just seemed to be strolling over, as causally as one would if walking in the park. "Just hold on Jarod, please hold on," She begged him shamelessly, while she was pulled away from him.

Jarod watched from where he laid motionless on the ground, as she was pulled from him, he kept his eyes on her the entire time as the men tried to help him, asking him questions, what day it was, who he was. Jarod couldn't move any of his body anymore, it hurt to breath, to blink, to talk, to think. He knew he wasn't going to see another day, another Christmas, another smile, another tear ever again. Jarod was positive he would never get to do another pretend, never get to help an innocent, he would never get to leave a present in Parker's house, he would never get to hold his father for another time. Jarod knew it was all over, it was ending here on some street he didn't know the name of, in a city he didn't want to be in.

"Be happy Parker," the man croaked out roughly, "Tell Sydney… tell him… I'm sorry."

It was so hard to get those words out, but he was thankful he did as they were his last. His eyelids slid shut as he gave into the darkness, the despair that surrounded him. The sobs and pleas from Parker faded out as the beeps of the defibrillator became fainter and fainter. The last thing he felt was her tear splashing on his cheek.

"NO!" Parker screamed out as they pronounced the time of death, unable to believe they had given up so easily on him, didn't fight for him. "Don't you dare give up Jarod, don't you fuckin' dare!" It was all her fault; she had killed him, on Christmas Eve no less, the one time she was just trying to help him.

The paramedics pulled her away from the lifeless body as Parker tried to do CPR on him, refusing to let go, to give up on him. They grabbed her forcefully though and held her back, trying to comfort her as she screamed for Jarod to wake up, for the pain in the arse to come back to her. He wasn't waking up, though, and Parker could not handle another person in her life dying. Falling to the ground beside Jarod, she held his hand as she cried; great big, soul destroying sobs escaped her, as the snow innocently fell over the pair of them. Why did it always have to be like this?

White snowflakes falling,

No sound to be heard.

Floating down slowly,

Like feathers of a bird.

White snowflakes landing,

Hiding everything from sight.

Disguising the evils,

That lurk in the night.

White snowflakes shattering,

Broken glass on the floor.

Something unique,

Has become no more.


End file.
